Sleep, screen time, smartphone

06 Dec, 2025

When I said I need to learn how to be kind to myself, it's not the case that I'm ignorant. I think most people know what is needed to lead more fulfilling lives, but they default to quiet lives of desperation because applying that knowledge is bloody difficult.

For instance, last week I went to bed at a reasonable hour and got 8.5 hours of sleep, and woke up feeling absolutely rejuvenated. I was reminded of what a good night's rest actually felt like. Yet in the days (or, rather, nights) since, I succumbed to bouts of revenge bedtime procrastination, staying up late to enjoy My Time when the world was quiet. But the trade-off is that I prevented myself from resting my mind and body, and the shortage carried into the next day, causing me to be in subtly cranky mood, which led me to want my own time to enjoy, thus repeating the cycle.

I know this.

I also know that having my phone in bed at night is a recipe for disaster. On days when I am focused, I have a good control over my screen time. On days when I lack willpower, I am ensnared. Here are some figures from my phone's screen time feature:

Week of November 9–16

• average daily use: 3h 18m
• lowest daily use: 17m
• highest daily use: 5h 49m

Week of November 16–23

• average daily use: 4h 17m
• lowest daily use: 51m
• highest daily use: 7h 19m

Week of November 23–29

• average daily use: 3h 57m
• lowest daily use: 34m
• highest daily use: 7h 33m

Week of November 29–December 5 (today)

• average daily use: 3h 32m
• lowest daily use: 2h 30m
• highest daily use: 6h 13m

This last week needs some more context: those hours are concentrated past 6pm. One of my recent practices of self-care is listening to music, and I enjoy perusing articles and discussions of the artists and bands while I listen to their work. While it's better than doom-scrolling (which was the aim of music at night), it's concentrating a lot of screen time in the hours before bed, which runs counter to my goal of getting quality sleep.

I know this.

I also know that modern technology is designed to be addicting. A casual perusal of currently trending posts on Bear yields a couple posts on Spotify Wrapped (and equivalent) and how that "feature" infringes on privacy and skews self-perception. Really pause to ponder this: Technology has rendered a personally enjoyable pastime like listening to music into something that big tech profits off of while inciting our insecurities.

The more we use this sort of technology because it's convenient, the more we become entrenched in this psychic prison in which our self-worth is attached to what we consume—and how we consume it.¹

I know this.

And I know my smartphone is the harbinger of this condition(ing). I got my first smartphone in 2014, relatively later than my peers. I remember even then wanting to retain independence—to not become so reliant on a single device. In the decade since, I've fallen short of this aspiration. Precarious politics, a global pandemic, darkly patterned algorithms that seek to secure my attention—these forces are hard to resist.

But these forces are also convenient excuses. I have the aforementioned knowledge, after all—I have the awareness to enact change. Which is what I'm setting out to do here.

With one decision, I'm going to reclaim my sleep, reduce my screen time, and reframe my relationship with my phone. I'm going to turn my phone off from 8pm to 8am daily. That's it.² It doesn't need to be a sexy approach, just one that creates enough friction so that I'm self-conscious when reaching for my phone at night. As noted above, I've had days with less than hour of screen time: I have it in me to exert self-control. I'm making it easy for myself (as an act of kindness) to maintain that control.

Three consequences emerge. First, instead of using my phone's alarm to wake up, I have my trusty Casio F-91W. Second, my phone won't be the first thing I engage with upon waking up. Third, if I need to look something up or send a message, I'll make a note of it for the next day. This is my mini-revolution against alluring convenience.

In effect, I'm gifting myself: better sleep, more free time, and a reduction in capitalism-induced anxiety and worry. This is the self-kindness that I know is vital, and which I am now making a sincere effort to enact.

Let's see how I fare in six months. Why this length of time? For one, I'm giving myself grace in implementing this (simple yet drastic) change. I am seeking to rewire a decade of conditioning, after all. Second, it just so happens that I've had my current phone for nearly six months. It's currently at 94% charged, and the Cycle Count is 47. In other words, I've been charging my phone once every ~3.75 days. I'll consider myself successful in changing my habits if, in mid-June 2026, my cycle count is less than 96. Cycle Count seems like a reasonable proxy for how much I use my phone, in tandem with tracking my screen time numbers.

Granted, this thinking can be a slippery slope, as it risks obsessing over a number related to my phone's battery (which is ultimately trivial). Yet, this sort of gamification (of keeping my cycle count to a minimum) is intended to position myself for other things in life (which can have great significance). That's the sort of trade-off I can get behind.